"I am afraid of being the disruptive woman. And of not being disruptive enough. I am afraid. But I am doing it anyway." In this vivid and powerful collection of essays, Emilie Pine boldly confronts the past to better understand herself, her relationships and her role in society. She speaks to the business of living as a woman in the 21st century – its extraordinary pain and its extraordinary joy. Tackling subjects like addiction, fertility, feminism and sexual violence, and where these subjects intersect with legislation, these beautifully written essays are at one fascinating and funny, intimate and searingly honest. Devastatingly poignant and profoundly wise – and joyful against the odds – Notes to Self offers a portrait not just of its author but of a whole generation. "Pine is not simply making something worthwhile out of pain, but showing others that they can do so, too." FINANCIAL TIMES "Do not read this book in public: it will make you cry." ANNE ENRIGHT "Emilie Pine is a wise and talented essayist ... every line pulses with the pain and the joy and complexity of an extraordinary life." MARK O'CONNELL