"Think of the worst breakup you ever had. If it didn't end with your boyfriend asking you for a threesome the day after taking your virginity, I've got you beat. All I've ever wanted was to experience a love like my parents had. They told me all those stories about love when I was a little girl, and how it's the key to living happily ever after.

Well, I started to think those were all lies. Love is a trick, and it doesn't exist. Who needs romance when it only ends with you crying your eyes out? So I went on strike two years straight: no love, no men… and it was going well!

But then this guy Steven smiled at me and then his best friend Michael kissed me and, well, this story is so complicated there has to be a good ending to it. Right? Or maybe my Fairy Godmother's a major bi-tch."