Why do we behave as we do - if it doesn't get us what we want? Can we balance our needs for closeness and for independence? Can we understand our emotional history - and go beyond it? How do we negotiate our needs with those of other people? Can we become the lover, partner or friend we long to be?

Gay, straight, old, young; we want our relationships 'to work'. Through a variety of moving, personal stories, a rare breadth of well-founded ideas and her own inspiring belief in the rewards of love, Stephanie Dowrick shows how possible it is to experience the pleasures of self-acceptance - and the last joy of satisfying connections with others.